


Helping a Mate Out

by FleetofShippyShips



Series: Prompted Harry Potter Works [35]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Boners, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, HP: EWE, M/M, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 18:11:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12940881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetofShippyShips/pseuds/FleetofShippyShips
Summary: Prompt:“I dunno, maybe we’ve had enough rum."“Judging by the fact that we can still talk, and we’re fully clothed, I’m going to disagree."





	Helping a Mate Out

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by starshaping on my nsfw sideblog.

“We should find some more rum,” Ron slurred.

“I dunno, maybe we’ve had enough rum,” Harry said, struggling to breathe, and forcing himself to sit very, very still.

“Judging by the fact that we can still talk, and we’re fully clothed, I’m going to disagree,” Ron said, swaying a little.

Harry hissed, and closed his eyes tight. “Ron, mate. You banished our fucking clothes when you climbed on my lap. We are literally naked right now. No clothes. No clothes between us. Just skin. Lots of skin. Naked skin. Fuck. No more rum for you.”

There was a heavy silence, and Harry cracked his eyes open. Ron was blinking down at their laps.

“Oh,” he finally said. “When did that happen?”

Harry bit his lip to keep from swearing at him. Thinking better of that, he let loose.

“You made it awkward, Ron. You fucking wanker. How am I going to look at you tomorrow! Fuck, if anyone finds out about this we’ll never hear the end of it. Just like that time you got pissed after breaking up with Hermione, and nearly got arrested for running around Hogsmeade naked. Can we just get drunk one fucking time without losing our fucking clothes and getting awkward fucking boners?”

Ron blinked at him. Then he grinned and made a triumphant sound. “I knew you got hard that night! No one wears robes that thick in summer! No one! And you wouldn’t let me look! I knew you were hiding a boner!”

“Not the point, Ron!” Harry snapped, pinching him in the side.

A moment later, he regretted that, as Ron squirmed, and it sent flares of heat bursting out from his groin as they pressed together. He shot his hands out, and grabbed Ron’s hips to still him.

“Oh, shit, mate,” Ron moaned. “Awkward boners.”

“Yeah,” Harry replied, swallowing heavily. 

Ron was still looking down in their laps, but Harry was very resolutely not looking, because that would only make the awkward boner situation worse. 

“You have a nice cock, Harry. Have I told you?”

Harry bit back a groan. “Nah, mate. We’ve only gotten awkwardly naked a dozen times, and you’ve never commented on it. Not once. Because you’re a real mate. You would never make things weird.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

Harry groaned again. “How are you so much drunker than me? We had the same amount. Or near the same amount… Fuck, I can’t actually remember how much I had.”

“Harry?”

Harry grimaced. “If you’re about to throw up on me, I will actually murder you.”

“I want to touch your cock.”

“What?”

Ron leaned forward until their heads were bumping. He was still looking down. “It looks really… I want to touch it. Can I?”

“Shit, Ron. This is not normal best mate behaviour,” Harry said, unable to hide the strain in his voice as he thought about Ron doing just that.

“It just twitched.”

“I’m aware.”

“Please?”

“I am not drunk enough to deal with your weird bollocks,” Harry groaned, resting his head back against the couch. 

Ron followed him, his face pressing against the side of Harry’s, and his fingers suddenly skating down Harry’s sides.

“Let me deal with it then,” he said, his voice low. “Just… helping a mate out, yeah?”

Lips pressed against his throat, and Harry made a whining sound in his throat. They’d had awkward boners around each other for years, whenever they’d been drinking. Sometimes after playing casual games of Quidditch. That one time they’d had to bunk together one Christmas. He’d be absolutely lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this happening each time. But still…

“Ron, that’s not… you shouldn’t… fuck, fuck, ungh.”

“I can’t believe I’m touching your cock, mate, it’s such a nice cock.”

Harry made a breathless sound, as Ron’s hand tightened around his cock, and started stroking. The kisses he was brushing along Harry’s neck became open, and hot. 

Gasping through the sparks of pleasure, Harry reached out and gripped Ron’s hips again, tightly.

“You don’t… fuck, Ron. You don’t even… even…”

Ron hummed against his throat, and let Harry’s cock go just long enough to press his own against it, and then grip them both. Harry looked down, then groaned low in his throat from the sight of their cocks nestled together in Ron’s big hand. Fuck, he’d had too many stray thoughts about those big hands over the years. Ever since that time he’d walked in on Ron wanking.

“Are you sober enough for a lube spell?” Ron asked with a rough voice. 

Harry pressed his hand against Ron’s and made an unintelligible sound. Somehow, it worked, even if there was a little too much lube, sliding out from under their hands, and onto their thighs.

But Ron just moaned as everything became slicker, smoother. “Mate, brilliant.  _ Brilliant _ . Shit, your cock feels so good. Why haven’t we done this before?”

Harry tilted his hips a little, thrusting up into Ron’s hand. “You don’t even like cocks you… you…  _ idiot _ .”

Ron groaned, and gripped them tighter. “I love your cock. Mate, fuck, Harry. Shit, getting naked was the best idea.  _ Best idea. _ ”

Harry pressed his head back against the couch. Almost immediately, Ron started kissing and sucking on his neck, moaning into his skin. At some point, their hips started rocking, and Harry’s hand joined Ron’s. It was messy, too much lube, no coordination. But Ron was moaning, and moaning, right into Harry’s neck. And all Harry could do was gasp, and try to remember how to breathe.

Ron came first, with a strangled moan. He bit down on Harry’s shoulder, as his hips bucked. With barely a pause, he had both hands on Harry’s cock, twisting, gripping hard. Harry closed his eyes tight, thrusting up into his hands. The sound of Ron babbling about his cock surrounded him as he came as well.

Sometime later, he startled awake to a wailing sound. They were lying on the couch now, and Ron was prodding his chest.

“What?” he groaned, everything feeling fuzzy. And sticky. Too much lube, it felt like it was everywhere, with an awful tacky feel.

“I could have sucked it!” Ron whined. “Why didn’t I suck it? Fuck, stay right there. I’m going to suck it!”

There was a scramble, and then a thud, and Harry looked over the edge of the couch to find Ron sprawled on the floor.

Ron blinked up at him, and then gestured at the floor. “Join me?”

Harry snorted, and rolled over to face the back of the couch. “Fuck off.”

A groan came from behind him, but no sound of movement. 

Harry was just drifting off again, when he heard a quiet, “I’ll suck it in the morning then. Beautiful fucking cock. Should have sucked it.”

Said cock throbbed for a moment, and whatever awkwardness was waiting for them in the morning, Harry hoped it came after a morning blow job. Because fuck, he might have had several thoughts about Ron’s big mouth over the years too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so ridiculous I almost didn't post it haha then I figured, it makes me laugh, might as well share around these two dorks getting drunk and fooling around with their awkward boners.


End file.
